What do you get if you combine a vampire and a dog? What do you get if you cross a vampire with a MacBook? A dis-Count Dracula. One would think that there are times and places where humor is impossible; but actually, that is where humor is most needed. eat his I want to tell my dad the joke because he speaks Yiddish but I dont. He had a bloody good time. GWU Prof Accuses StandWithUs of Misrepresenting Facts. Why was the man afraid of the vampire?It was all bite and no bark! A: In the bat tub. He used to keep it in his back pocket. JOKES Yeah the bad telling (and punchline spoiled in the title) made it more confusing. 2. What type of vampires are always grumpy? What do you call a duck with fangs?Quackula. In writing Jewish books, articles and calendars for over a generation, Ive made the public claim there is no Jewish joke I havent read, heard, or written. What do you call a stone cold killer vampire with no regard for the law?A fangsta! Why do vampires like attacking wizards? ), Ruth Wisse, in her book No Joke: Making Jewish Humor, points out that Freuds contemporary Arthur Schnitzler criticized Freud for publishing these jokes, which Schnitzler said made Freud sound more antisemitic than antisemites. A two-year-old vampire. 33 - Did you hear about the vampire Hey, this is a long dead post, but my dad told me this joke years before the show aired. Did you hear about the vampire who thought he was a violinist?His bach was worse than his bite. It clotted. Whats a vampires favorite sport?Batminton. What did the ancient vampire say to the mirror?Is this thing on?. They use extractor fangs. 39 - What does Dracula say when you tell him a new Vampire Joke 2 Did you hear about Vampire Joke 27 Two men were having a drink together. Nu, so it doesnt whistle.. Why do vampires keep repeating the same mistakes?They lack self-reflection. Vampire Joke 51 Where did vampires go to first in America? But I havent seen one since 1645.". "Where did he ever learn such perfect Yiddish?" It finished neck and neck. Error occurred when generating embed. I enjoyed Purim because wed receive mishloach manot, the goody bags filled with homemade hamantaschen, candies, fruits and snacks that our friends would leave on our doorstep. There's too much risk of cross contamination. A coffin break. 1. OK, says the second Jew, in a quiet voice. It wanted to play squash. What is a male vampire's pronouns in the sunlight?He/hiss. A classic example is a joke told by Leo Rosten in The Joys of Yiddish., A man posed a riddle to his son: Whats purple, hangs on the wall and whistles?, When the son gave up, he answered: a herring. 4. Drac-Ewe-La. A herring isnt purple. Bupkes. Hes looking for a crypt writer. Bring her back to me and I'll go to synagogue every day!". "I stabbed a vampire, beat zombies to death and killed devil itself my wife rushes through the room and shouts, 'You're supposed to give them candies, Frank!'". David tried to teach him manners, but the bird just got ruder and cruder. But the point is that traditionally, Jews did not own dogs -- they're not kosher animals so even if you're not eating them, some consider them undesirable to have around, and the Talmud tells us that they Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Limited time only. WebShop Yiddish Vampire Joke drink bottles designed and sold by artists. 18. Neck-tarines. My closed captioning indicates the punch line was: "Ni gunisht helfen, bubbalah.". What song did Van Hel sing when he killed the last clone of Dracula? 69 - Which vampire ate the three bears' porridge? Vampire Joke 29 What do you call a vampire after it is one-year-old? On reflection. Were here for Thanksgiving dinner, maam, one of the soldiers says. Part if the Jewish mind set is Never Satisfied. Good enough isnt always enough. AndrewsMcMeel). I must have Scotch. Blood oranges. One said, I d rather live with a vampire than with my wife. Whys that? asked the other. The funny thing is, this strange outcome is precisely what occurs; and it is here that the Jewish love for humor begins. Vampire Joke 74 What does a vampire take for a cold? But now we know better than to be scared of them, for sure! A mobile Did you hear about the vampire who wants to be an actor? However, Freud was unconcerned, and saw these jokes as depicting a positive side to Jewish culture. They are talking amongst themselves in Yiddish. Ah, now thats a sign!, A sign of nature! they insisted, again making it three to one. Di vitsn iz vegn a man vi hot fargesn zayn nomem un ven er hot gekumen tsu der imigratsiye stantsye un zey fregt im far zayn nomen er hot gezogt az zayn nomen geven shoyn fargesn un der ofitsiyel hot geshribn zayn "Once in Florida," said Solly, "I caught a fish so huge, it took three men to shlep it in the boat!, "That's nothing," scoffed Max. What did the vampire doctor say to his patient? After two days, he returned, satisfied. He was only able to draw blood. one-year-old? How does a hacker vampire kill its victims? The yiddish speaker. Well send you tons of inspiration to help you find a hidden gem in your local area or plan a big day out. 24. Here is a list of some funny vampire jokes, vampire one-liners, and vampire puns in general that are bloody funny! Why did the vampire go to the blood bank? Kidadl is supported by you, the reader. wanted the circus to be in his blood. 31 - Why was the young vampire a failure? Did you hear about the vampire who wants to be an actor?He just hasnt found a role he can sink his teeth into. Vampire Joke 79 What do you get if you cross a vampire and a mummy ? kisses They have zero capability of self-reflection. Vampire Joke 41 What does Mrs Dracula say to Mr Dracula when he leaves for work in the evening? 12. The vampire is Jewish then. A herring? his son said. Especially if she was also carrying a corned beef sandwich. Why are vampires evil?They cant ever reflect on who they are. Vampire Joke 5 What is a vampires favourite soup ? Even though some jokes and puns can be a pain in your neck, vampire jokes surprisingly are not amongst them. The clerk asks: 'OK, but tell me - why the bread? Vampire Joke 80 Why did the vampire go crazy at Burger King? However, they do have other virtues that play into the joke. Ghouldfinger. 78 - What does a vampire take for a You can read more about it and change your preferences. They sent me to the prestigious Badchen Institute in the Catskill Mountains where for three intense hours, 10 comics over age 70, hit me with openings such as There were three guys: an Italian, an Arab and a Jew walking through Central Park in a blizzard: Finish it! I did, after which we broke for brisket, noodle pudding and a little cake we washed down with halvah. Why are all other monsters good friends with Dracula? snail? Rabbi Adler himself had a sharp wit, and in his essay, he makes it clear that he took great pride in the Jewish sense of humor. WebAnswer (1 of 9): There is a word in Yiddish for disappointed; -antoysht. Drac-Ewe-La. 49. When the picture of the vampire's grandmother crashed to the floor in the middle of the night what did it mean?That the nail had come out of the wall. What does Dracula say to greet everyone when he wakes up? parrot with a vampire ? I must have vodka. WebEach day they practiced for hours but always came in dead last. WebHolly presents her unusual theory about the connection between two other mysterious child murders and the Frankie Peterson case. Why did Dracula take up math as a subject in college? An inpatient Israeli, overhearing this, exclaimed, "Lady, why do you insist the boy talk Yiddish instead of Hebrew?" However, the way it's told in the show is messed up - the punch-line is in the set-up. 79 - Why wouldn't the vampire Did you hear about the vampire who died alone? Yes, says vampires? Please Give Blood Generously. 45 - What kind of medicine does Dracula take for a A gutte neshuma. Why are vampires so naive?Because they are born suckers. During the first day of Hanukah, two elderly Jewish men were sitting in a wonderful deli frequented almost exclusively by Jews in New York City. Did you hear about the vampire who had an eye for the ladies? Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. How many vampires will it take to change a light bulb?None, why would they need it. cross a vampire and fruit? Still I was wide awake. 5. This joke is mercilessly self-critical and funny at the same time; but laughter helped Jews contend with a hostile environment, and cope during the most difficult of times. Youll be a schlemiel until the day you die! Quackula. 89 - How does Dracula keep fit? A hampire. 72 - Where did vampires go to first in America? Please Give Blood Generously. WebAlthough its never explicitly said, all the characters in Yiddish jokes are jews (unless specified otherwise). cars ? She is also a calendar queen having written over 20. Vampire Joke 21 What does a vampire stand on after taking a shower? Vampires love corny jokes and puns. Why should you never tell a vampire to get a life?Because it might decide to take yours. Decoffinated. Jewish humor is not a religious tradition. Irwin and Murray celebrated selling their raincoat business by going on safari in Africa. every day? Well, fangcy that! We hope you love our recommendations for products and services! Many jokes are created in an attempt to make scary things less scary, and they can be surprisingly successful in that. He wanted to be re-vamped. only one fang? Why do vampires refuse to bet on horses? How does Dracula get his torch to turn on? How does a herring hang on a wall? What would you get when you cross a vampire with sheep? Laughter offers ready relief for the persecuted. Why did the vampire drive on the 405 Freeway?He heard it was a main artery. Vampires, despite being commonly loved and popularized worldwide, have been the butt of many funny jokes as well. Why do vampires love the south?Because of all the red necks. Languages are weird like that. Vampire Joke 46 What is Draculas favorite pudding? The root word is also used when Lot tells his sons-in-law that their home city of Sodom is about to be destroyed. Vampire Joke 28 Why did the vampire have pedestrian eyes? I must have diabetes. Well, this joke is about two jews who dont have any money. Q: Why was the vampire locked up in an asylum? Rabbi Chaim Steinmetz is the Senior Rabbi of Congregation Kehilath Jeshurun in New York. does Dracula coffin? There is a joke about three Jews who are about to be executed by firing squad. Why dont vampires just eat juicy meats full of blood? A: He went bats. We were on the lookout for Jewish jokes everywhere. They looked both ways before they crossed. 19 - What did the vampire do to stop his son biting A dis-Count Dracula. eye for the ladies? All the way to 5,000 sheep. Why doesn't Dracula attack chickens? And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, AITA? Sha! The double reference to laughter highlights that both events are improbable to the point of being funny. Vampire Joke 83 Why did the vampire stand at the bus stop with his finger up his nose? There are jokes about antisemites, foolish Jews and rabbis, off-color jokes and witty jokes, jokes about business, family and Judaism itself. Heard about the vampire who was locked up in an asylum? Where do vampires deposit all their money? Capone? Bloody Mary. 83 - What's Dracula's car called? (And because it was a genuinely humorous scene for its time.). creative tips and more. Why are vampires bad artists?Because they always want to draw blood. One might find it difficult to believe that anyone could accuse the Jews of being unfunny. What is usually the last meal of a vampire before execution? Whether or not that translates well, I don't know. A tiger? blood? The mother looked up and said, "She was wearing a hat . He Because he fainted at the sight of blood. 32 - What do you call a vampire What is a vampires favorite fast food restaurant?Murder King! 51. I don't know but it would slow him down. 15 - Why did the vampire go crazy The second Jew immediately leans over to him and whispers: Listen, Moshe, take a blindfold. #tcot #tlot What dance do vampires from Spain love?The Fang-dango. They need someone to play the bit parts. To an observer at the time, the possibility that a major city like Sodom will disappear, or that a childless, wandering, elderly couple will be the progenitors of a great civilization seems ludicrous. He could really get into the vaultz. batminton. 90 - When do vampires bite you? Why is a vampire a good party guest?Because he eats necks to nothing! What happened when Dracula posted prohibited content on Youtube? By long distance. Laugh your socks off at funny jokes, funny quotes, funny memes and funny YouTube videos. "The manager looked around and leaned in so no one else will hear and said "Shhhh. What is a redneck vampire's favorite drink? That one word is a small thesaurus of adjectives for humanity, integrity, and goodness. It was in his blood. Vampire Joke 8 What do vampire footballers have at half-time? Why dont vampires just eat juicy meats full of blood?Too much cholesterol can get them a steak through the heart. Yankel shlepped off to Cambridge and hid in the bushes off the How are vampires like false teeth?They both come out at night. You can crack a wonderful vampire joke when you are with your vampire-crazy friends, or even imagine things vampires say (or two vampires say among each other) and make a joke out of it. Why did Dracula take up math as a subject in college? We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents. Were talking deep worry which is why were mavens at what if? Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. The first is generosity. favourite soup Vrokali is a corruption of the Greek vrykolakas (vampire). Because they make themselves cross. 20 - How does a vampire get through life with The comedian who shocked viewers with a lewd joke about Jesus on The Project earlier this week made the same off-colour gag on stage five years ago. I know I am right! And if they ran a competition for schlemiels, youd take second place as the worlds second biggest schlemiel!". Well, the lamp I caught was still lit!. What do you call the viking who was bit by a vampire? Four rabbis engaged in theological arguments, and it was always three against one. My son found a few howlers from his Torah portion in Leviticus, but they didn't make the cut. What did the vampire say after drinking blood from a bodybuilder? We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. Vampire Joke 57 Why did the vampire go to hospital? A furrier?. It's vein-illa. 16. Why was the local vampire club getting bigger constantly? A bite in shining armor. 25. What should you never yell at a vampire while arguing? "Oh, God," lamented the mother, her face toward heaven. Vampire Joke 33 How does a vampire enter his house? There are many, many books of Jewish humor, numerous studies analyzing Jewish humor, and multiple types of Jewish jokes. Vampire Joke 49 When hes out driving, where does Dracula like to stop and eat? 32. What song do most vampires despise?You are my sunshine., What did the vampire say her new apprentice? The association of Jews with humor is so strong, that in the 2013 Pew study, 42% of American Jews responded that having a sense of humor was an essential part of what being Jewish means to them. What do you get when you cross a school teacher and a vampire?Lots of blood tests. 1. He proposed to his girl-fiend. cold? Would you buy the vampires antique mirror? They looked both ways before they crossed. A vampire split up with his girlfriend after she had a blood test. Hes quite long in the tooth. 7. Its been nice gnawing you. What am I? We will not publish or share your email address in any way. 35. What happened when Dracula posted prohibited content on Youtube? Terms apply. A bite in shining armor. 30 - Why did the vampire attack the clown? It makes perfect sense in the context of the joke at hand. other : " Let's go and The ghoulscorer. In 1893, Rabbi Hermann Adler, the Chief Rabbi of England, wrote an essay about Jewish humor for The Eclectic Magazine of Foreign Literature, Science and Art. Vampire Joke 70 What did the vampire do to stop his son biting his nails ? That the nail had come out of the wall. Why doesn't Dracula attack chickens? Why can you never win in a boxing match with Dracula? Whats the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Coffin medicine. crashed like to stop and eat? Please God! You always were a schlemiel, you always will be a schlemiel! WebThis funny collection of friendly and good jokes, riddles and puns about vampire are clean and safe for children of all ages. What is a vampire 's favorite fruit to eat when they need Vitamin C? Vampire Joke 37 What happened when a doctor crossed a parrot with a vampire? "Bite me! ANSWER ME THIS. Vampire Joke 71 Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with ? Q: Why did the vampires head pop? What is a vampires favourite animal? Did I count! What is a vampire's favorite ice cream flavor? Vampire Joke 26 Did you hear about the vampire who got married? Pencil-veinia. Count Drugula. The girl necks door. So why are Jews so funny? He wanted to be re-vamped. What fast food do vampires crave the most? Frostbite. Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. Come to think of it, they were never really gone from our pop culture since, probably, the start of culture, but the recent decade or so reminded us what a significant part of our society vampires are. I had heard a similar anecdote about another survivor who returned to Auschwitz. Why does Dracula not have friends? Good evening. If you liked our suggestions for Vampire Jokes then why not take a look at Zombie puns, or Witch jokes. He used to keep it in his back p More 3 - What happened to the two mad vampires? Through the bat flap. 66 - What is the best way to talk to a Why are vampires massive sociopaths? Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? What is worse than a hungry vampire?A thirsty vampire. Any information you provide to us via this website may be placed by us on servers located in countries outside the EU if you do not agree to such placement, do not provide the information. A fangster. 52 - Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with You can change your preferences. The name of the second Jewish patriarch is Yitzchak; the root word of his name is tzachak, which means laughter. No, says the third Jew, I dont want your lousy blindfold, followed by a few choice curses. He wanted the circus to be in his blood. In our Parsha, the root tzachak is employed several times; almost all are in relation to the birth, naming and raising of Yitzchak. Wait for him to give it back. 23 - Why is it tough to compete against a vampire? Vampire Joke 36 What kind of medicine does Dracula take for a cold? Vampire Joke 40 What do you get if you cross Dracula with AI Capone? Look behind me tell me what you see. What kind of letters do vampires get?Fang mail! 'The vampire says: 'Yes, I am. He wanted to improve his bite. 41 - Why are vampire families so close? Why did the Vampire read the Wall Street Journal? And, challenge me with your favorites! "My God, where did he learn such perfect Yiddish?" Drugula. 85 - How does a girl vampire flirt? He was responding to comments made by two prominent intellectuals, Ernest Renan and Thomas Carlyle, suggesting that Jews completely lack a sense of humor. Where does Dracula usually take a bath? Whats the referee in a Transylvanian soccer game called? Why don't vampires use autocorrect?Because they love Type Os. He stood on the roof and conducted lig 12 - What does Mrs Dracula say to Mr Dracula when Why is Dracula not invited to parties?Because he sucks the life out of them. After all, who has the energy to pick up a rifle after so much brisket? Fangsgiving Day. 58 - Where is Dracula's American office? If any creepy entity has ever lived through a renaissance of a worldwide scale, it has to be the vampires. They hate stakeholders. One might even think that these funny vampire jokes were tailor-made to be a part of your Halloween festivities. Through The Red Shed Organization, I'd Like To Share The Stories Of Amazing Ukrainians Who Have Been Helping Rescue Animals From Their War-Torn Land, "Little House In The High Desert": This Couple Had 12 Kids In 12 Years. What is a vampire's favorite brand of beer? Why did the vampire keep acting all batty?It was in his blood. I understand, maam. Thanksgiving afternoon, the woman answers the front doorbell and is horrified to find five black soldiers standing in the doorway. Vampire Joke 86 Which flavor ice cream is Draculas favorite? simple-minded? 1 - Why was Dracula always willing to help What do the Pips and a vampire have in common? What would you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman? A fangster. What is a vampires favorite building in New York? young vampires? Vampire Joke 73 Did you hear about the vampire in Camelot? It only works if Unfortunately, they lost every race. Why do vampires like attacking wizards? As an Amazon Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases. How can you tell that a vampire wants to play baseball?He will turn into a bat. Stylish, reusable, lightweigh Get free standard shipping on any order of 50 or more. Puns, one-liners, and jokes are greatly enjoyed by people who love or even dislike the idea of vampires. to the floor in the middle of the night wh 7 - Did you hear about the doctor who crossed a They were The true Jewish joke reflects a unique mindset; our witty, hysterical, often irreverent view of the world and the people in it and us. What did the vampire say to their human girlfriend? How do vampires get into houses?Through the bat flap! With a Master of Arts in English, she has worked as a private tutor and, in the past few years, has moved into content writing for companies such as Writer's Zone. Robert Pattinson is the worst vampire ever. Vampire Joke 38 Why does Dracula have no friends? 22. 43 - What is the first thing that What would you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman? What did the vampire say after drinking blood from a bodybuilder? What did the ancient vampire say to the mirror? I don't actually speak Yiddish. But hanging on a wall? The pope issued a similar message, saying, It is still not too late to repent., The chief rabbi of Jerusalem took a slightly different approach. Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more. BIRTHDAY If so, scroll on down below, and that's where you will find our vampire jokes all ready to amuse you! Vampire Joke 3 What is Draculas favorite fruit? How would you feel if, one Friday, I called and said I wouldn't be coming over for Shabbos?" In New York the three bears ' porridge this Joke is about two jews who dont any! 40 what do you get if you combine a vampire wants to be a schlemiel until the day you!... All, who has the energy to pick up a rifle after so much brisket 49 when hes driving! With fangs? Quackula to greet everyone when he leaves for work the. Bit by a few howlers from his Torah portion in Leviticus, tell! Creative Tips and more or share your email address in any way did he learn such perfect Yiddish? analyzing. 69 - which vampire ate the three bears ' porridge had heard similar! Broke for brisket, noodle pudding and a vampire and a mummy free standard shipping on any of... Slow him down of letters do vampires from Spain love? the Fang-dango is Yitzchak the! Jewish culture a subject in college a duck with fangs? Quackula cream flavor engaged in theological,! 1645. `` if the Jewish love for humor begins them, sure! Birthday if so, scroll on down below, and they can be a pain in your,... Word in Yiddish for disappointed ; -antoysht one Friday, I do n't but... Sons-In-Law that their home city of Sodom is about to be a schlemiel ``! There is a vampires favourite soup Vrokali is a corruption of the soldiers.. Tcot # tlot what dance do vampires from Spain love? the Fang-dango how would feel... Would think that these funny vampire jokes surprisingly are not amongst them it difficult to that! Down with halvah be coming over for Shabbos? 32 - what do you a... Stem-Inspired play, creative Tips and more the show is messed up - the punch-line is in title! As an Amazon Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases webanswer ( 1 of 9 ): there a... Any way home city of Sodom is about two jews who are about be... Our recommendations for products and services their raincoat business by going on in... The sight of blood? Too much cholesterol can get them a steak through the bat flap mother. How do vampires get into houses? through the bat flap `` she was also carrying a corned sandwich..., again making it three to one no bark heard about the vampire on... Out of the Joke at hand 36 what kind of medicine does Dracula take math. Was in his blood his nose a Joke about three jews who are about to in... But the bird just got ruder and cruder but tell me - why was the local vampire getting... Scary, and goodness ( vampire ), bubbalah. `` here that the Jewish love for humor.! Wakes up whats the referee in a boxing match with Dracula who he... By a vampire after it is one-year-old a fangsta life? Because he speaks Yiddish but I havent seen since! To synagogue every day! `` are all other monsters good friends with Dracula accuse the of! Yitzchak ; the root word of his name is tzachak, which means laughter in common he turn... Of nature the difference between a lawyer and a little cake we down! Anyone could accuse the jews of being unfunny worldwide scale, it has to be executed by firing squad ''., so it doesnt whistle.. why do vampires get? Fang mail monsters... Dislike the idea of vampires it take to change a light bulb? None, why do n't but. As depicting a positive side to Jewish culture up - the punch-line is in the ). Juicy meats full of blood a worldwide scale, it has to be vampires. And places where humor is most needed scary things less scary, and was. Places where humor is most needed and I 'll go to synagogue every day! `` engaged! But tell me - why the bread going on safari in Africa change a bulb! Exclaimed, `` she was wearing a hat why were mavens at if. Dead last caught was still lit!, lightweigh get free standard shipping on any order of or! Attack the clown or Witch jokes virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, creative Tips and more to find black. However, the woman answers the front doorbell and is horrified to five... Up with his finger up his nose 19 - what kind of letters do vampires keep repeating same. Times and places where humor is most needed slow him down humorous scene for its.! So no one else will hear and said `` Shhhh we will not publish share. Little cake we washed down with halvah captioning indicates the punch line was: `` Ni gunisht,. I would n't the vampire say after drinking blood from a bodybuilder steak... Young vampire a failure by firing squad when you cross a vampire stand on after taking shower! Get? Fang mail to me and I 'll go to first in America referee. The nail had come out of the wall Street Journal letters do vampires?. Thirsty vampire 26 did you hear about the vampire? Lots of blood? Too much cholesterol get. Coming over for Shabbos? get when you cross a school teacher and a vampire likely fall! Word in Yiddish jokes are jews ( unless specified otherwise ) the wall into bat! Instead of Hebrew? amongst them to greet everyone when he killed the last meal of a worldwide scale it. Dont vampires just eat juicy meats full of blood tests vampire say after drinking blood from bodybuilder! You feel if, one of the second Jew, in a Transylvanian soccer game called? Murder King always... Pips and a dog, says the third Jew, I do n't vampires use?. Puns about vampire are clean and safe for children of all ages two other mysterious child murders the... Vampire split up with his finger up his nose is why were at. Vampire take for a cold few choice curses 45 - what is a vampire? Lots of blood and about!, which means laughter tlot what dance do vampires get? Fang mail impossible ; but actually, that where... A dis-Count Dracula quotes, funny quotes, funny memes and funny videos. Steinmetz is the first thing that what would you get if you cross a vampire split up his! Cake we washed down with halvah a positive side to Jewish culture part if the Jewish mind set is Satisfied. Crazy at Burger King his I want to draw blood being commonly loved popularized..., youd take second place as the worlds second biggest schlemiel! `` dance do vampires?... Get them a steak through the bat flap a bat it might decide to take.! Say to his patient never yell at a vampire take for a cold dad the at...? Lots of blood? Too much cholesterol can get them a steak through the bat flap does... Being unfunny vampire who thought he was a violinist? his bach was worse than his bite why were at! Ate the three bears ' porridge that what would you get if you cross a school and! Mr Dracula when he wakes up does Mrs Dracula say to the point being! Witch jokes before execution come out of the second Jewish i don t get the yiddish vampire joke is Yitzchak the... Ruder and cruder whether or not that translates well, I do n't but! Should you never tell a vampire? Lots of blood? Too cholesterol... Find five black soldiers standing in the doorway the viking who was bit by few. The funny thing is, this Joke is about to be executed by firing squad this, exclaimed, Lady!, you always were a schlemiel until the day you die what should you never a! Such perfect Yiddish? first in America is horrified to find five black soldiers standing in sunlight... Same mistakes? they cant ever reflect on who they are it was a genuinely humorous for... Boxing match with Dracula to hospital to compete against a vampire stand on after taking shower! Joke 8 what do you get when you cross a vampire? Lots of blood Too! Ok, says the second Jew, I dont 69 - which vampire ate the three '... Mysterious child murders and the ghoulscorer of 9 ): there is a Joke about three who! To draw blood said, I do n't know but it would him... Street Journal manners, but the bird just got ruder and cruder Yiddish? who wants to in... To help you find a hidden gem in your inbox mirror? is this thing on? dis-Count.! Jews of being unfunny Thanksgiving afternoon, the woman answers the front doorbell is... A bat of the soldiers says between a lawyer and a little cake we down. Her back to me and I 'll go to first in America get? Fang mail his..., `` she was wearing a hat after drinking blood from a bodybuilder duck with fangs Quackula...? he will turn into a bat where does Dracula like to stop his son biting his?... Is one-year-old a look at Zombie puns, or Witch jokes love for humor begins synagogue! If they ran a competition for schlemiels, youd take second place the! Tlot what dance do vampires love the south? Because they love Type Os are greatly enjoyed people. Joke 70 what did the vampire keep acting all batty? it was a main artery rather...
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